October 14, 2026
No one wants to talk about rape and murder. But what happens when you take ALL sensationalism away and dive into the deep waters?
As our next Don’t Waste Your Pain guests (yes, two of them!) show us, even deep darkness can bring forth wisdom and light. And with all that is in the news lately, this is the medicine the world needs: Not more debates about who’s right, but HEALED people sharing lived, raw truths.
THAT is what helps more people heal.
This is not my first conversation with Buck or Mai. In their first DWYP interviews, both of them illustrated this lesson so well that I had to invite them back on the show – this time together.
After my first interview with Buck, I had a new understanding of forgiveness. He is the embodiment of love and compassion. This is a man who said, “I love you, and I forgive you,” to the 19-year-old “friend” who raped and murdered his daughter, Jessie.
I walked away from that conversation changed on a cellular level. Sitting with him, I could literally feel forgiveness shift within my own body.
Then there is Mai. She was raped by a pedophile posing as a doctor in Norway, the very place her parents escaped to for safety after fleeing their beloved Vietnam.
Here is the thing about Mai: You will laugh with her while she shares about her dad’s torture and her own rape. Not because any of it is funny, but because she has this incredible ability to take you into the darkest places and somehow bring light with her.
Because her daddy taught her that humor also heals.
Both of these incredible humans have taken their pain and used it for tremendous good.
Buck has spent nearly 14 years helping men in prison find compassion and forgiveness while also giving survivors a voice and a place to be heard and witnessed. Mai became the first Vietnamese judge in Norway, gifted with a passion for deeply listening – so much that a man she sentenced to jail actually thanked her. He told her she was the first person who had truly listened to him.
So, what happens when you bring two phenomenal and deeply impactful humans together? You learn that:
- Forgiveness does not erase what happened or mean that you don’t hold someone accountable for their actions. It is a step toward your own personal freedom and health.
- When we talk about rape instead of suppressing it, there is a space where freedom begins.
Whether it was Buck saying, “I am HUMAN. I am an ass at times,” and holding himself accountable for his own faults, or Mai saying, “I am not the perfect mom,” THESE are the statements that make me love our guests even more.
All our DWYP guests possess what I call the three H’s: Heart, Humility, and Humor. And these two have all three in spades.
My heart was elevated witnessing these two share time and space together.
If you are interested in sharing, I look forward to hearing what you think about this episode.